If this worlds ends tonight you'd still be far away. I'll use my afterlife to search for you desperately. I'd do just anything to know you'd still wait for me.

Trash

Don't take your love away.

And please don't you ask me why I love you ...
Because I don't know if I do.

You may find it hard to believe.

I'm not the man you think I am.

As it turns out part II.

It seems that I want the one I can't have. The only twist is that it's not who anyone thinks it is. Shocker? Yeah. Maybe I'll shed some light on this subject later. Just maybe.

As it turns out.

I can't stop dwelling on what I'm missing. I can't sleep at night. I can't eat. I can't focus at alllllllllll. And it's killing me. At least my losing weight though. The only thing that can get my mind off of it is soccer. The only thing is I can't play soccer all day. I think the thing that is bugging me the most is how I fucked up. I'm starting to realize more and more how I could have prevented this. I'm seriously done thinking about it. I don't want to anymore. I want to move on. Cuz the only thing that would make this better is if someone handed me some sort of time travel device. I'd fix this whole mess. I would. Then I'd get rich some how then travel to Manchester, England circa 1982. Ah, a guy can wish can't he?

I've always known I'm a horrible boyfriend. Which makes no sense in my case cuz I'm just so damn lovelorn. It's not even funny. I have no willingness to attempt another relationship. I know I'd just be setting myself up for failure. Like always. In everything. Everything. There are only three things I'm good at in life: 1.) Teaching - Not only am I good at teaching, I love doing it. I love people listening to me cuz I have a lot to say. 2.) Soccer - And this is when I'm in shape and I'm not at the moment so I'm kinda mad at myself. I have these limits now. I'm slowly working myself up to where I used to be. I'll do it. And finally 3.) Morrissey - I know Morrissey more than my parents which may seem trite and impossible since I've never even met him but believe me, I know him.

Other than those things I mentioned, I'm not good at anything. Not even being a good friend. Except I know what love is. I just need to find someone that understands love on the same level as I do. So far, I haven't come close. But where ever you are, whatever you are, DON'T LOSE FAITH, I'll find you. Believe me, I will.

Oh yeah, I don't owe you ANYTHING.

My Life's Theme.

Life is wine.

An easy meal like me.

Isn't this hell? Well I ain't the man you used to hold
and share deep deep breaths with
Well I cut his neck and left him to die
so his last breath would be not a beg, but a whimper.